First of all, there’s a wide variety of cheating definitions that people hold. Some preclude anything that’s not “traditional” sex, others include even so much as a glance at a pretty stranger. What’s important is that you and your partner share the same definition for this insensitive act. You may find yourself in a relationship where it’s okay to invite a hooker into your hotel room while on a business trip. You more likely will not. Either way, the following are loopholes people who cheat find to justify their rather sleazy behaviors.

1. It Happened in a Different Time Zone/State/Country

The logic behind this one must be something like, “I’ll never see the person again, and you weren’t there anyway, so…” I guess it’s easy for some people to leave home (and everyone that goes with it) behind when they travel.

2. Blowjobs Aren’t Cheating

For some, the definition of sex amounts to the baby-making method only. Unfortunately, these people oftentimes have partners who don’t quite see it that way.

3. Massage Parlors Are a Loophole

Payment for the massage also covers the happy ending… it’s not like it was specially requested.

4. They’re So Much Younger

If the person you’re cheating with is ten plus years younger than your significant other, they hardly even count as a viable option for infidelity, some say. It’s got to be all about meaningless sex in that case (because who could possibly relate to someone that much younger?), which leads to this classic:

5. Nothing Emotional Is Going On

Is it really cheating if your heart remains with your significant other, even while your genitals may wander elsewhere? Many would say that relationships are about love and passion, and if you’re not cheating when it comes to those feelings, then you’re not cheating at all, right?

6. Inebriation

The “I was so drunk I had no idea what I was doing” excuse often backfires in the way that blowing a .15 makes getting into a car accident that much worse, repercussion-wise.

7. Exes Don’t Count

Your ex is someone you’ve already tried to have a lasting relationship with, and it didn’t work out. However, you know you’re compatible in bed, so why not give it a go even though you’ve moved on romantically? There’s no chance of you guys running off together, based on how the arguments follow so soon after sex.

8. Your Partner’s Cheating, Too

If you guys are both cheating, the digressions cancel each other out. You can now both consider your slates clean again.

9. “Just the Tip”

Okay, this one doesn’t really fly, ever, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t heard of its use through the grapevine before…

10. Paying For Sex

As with the happy ending, paying for sex can’t possibly make it cheating. That sex worker really needed the money—you were just helping him or her out!

11. Your Wife Is Pregnant

Or, turning the tables, your husband is not interested in having sex with a pregnant woman. Meanwhile, as a pregnant woman, you are notoriously horny…

12. If It’s Something Your Partner Would Never Do…

Say your significant other absolutely refuses to go down on you. Well, that’s a simple human pleasure that everyone has a right to, so you’ve got to make it happen with someone else. Honestly, the problem here isn’t the cheating, but your partner’s unwillingness to engage with you sexually (of course, there are always exceptions… like a bad case of lockjaw).

13. One-Sided Loss Of Sex Drive

People age, some quicker than others. If you find that your partner’s sex drive has dwindled before your own, seeking satisfaction where your partner would find none seems like a pretty innocent idea.

14. Cyber Sex

You’re not even touching the person! You never even have to meet him or her face-to-face. That should be enough to convince your partner that virtual sex is innocuous.

15. Your Partner’s Out of Town

Yeah, and you can’t possibly get off by masturbating. Few people are going to buy into this one, so good luck.

16. You Guys Are in a Fight

A fight is surely an excuse to let your anger out by sleeping with someone else. Making up after you stray…may very well lead you back to another fight.

17. Closeted Homosexuality

As much as you may love your partner in this scenario, that can’t force you to be attracted to the opposite sex. Cheating here amounts to being true to yourself. Hopefully, it will encourage you to come out to your partner and move on.

18. “It’s Only Cheating If You Feel Like You’re Doing Something Wrong.”

By this line of reasoning, only you can tell in your gut whether your actions were pure or evil. Take a reality check and remember that relationships involve more just yourself, and your significant other may feel like you did something wrong even when you felt fine about sleeping with the amazing looking neighbor who practically teases you just by being in the elevator every morning.