I don’t think that anyone can say that they’re exactly “floored” by this data. According to an annual global health survey by Men’s Health magazine, Indian men have the least amount of sex. The magazine surveyed more than 50,000 respondents from more than 30 countries.

Many Indians do not have enough privacy to have sex as often as they might want to because the live in noisy ‘joint family’ homes with their parents and adult siblings,” said Bobby Varkey, managing editor of Men’s Health, to the Telegraph. “The taboo against sex outside marriage may also explain the finding.”

Indian women are like unicorns. You hear about them and how good the hot one’s look, but you never actually see them or get the chance to have sex with them. I’ve been on this earth for 24 years and I know of ONE person who’s ever had sex with an Indian girl. Those odds are astounding.

Croatian men lead the way in the survey of having the most sex. While Indian men averaged three partners throughout their life, Croatian men averaged eleven and had sex outdoors far more than anyone else. Those Croatian dudes, they’re built like Spartan warriors and wetting vaginas worldwide, it’s just what they do.

Finally, British men and women were found to be the kinkiest of them all. I don’t even need to fake it, I am now planning on making a trip out to England. I don’t even care if the ladies have worse teeth than most meth addicts, if I’m drunk I can pretend she’s wearing dentures and not remember it in the morning. When you’re in a slump, get yourself to England. The survey says you’ll be happy you did it.

Steve Armato

Hailing from Staten Island, NY, Steve is 24 years old. He attended Sacred Heart University in Fairfield, Conn., where he graduated with a degree in media studies. While at Sacred Heart, Steve also played Division 1 baseball for four years. He enjoys writing about sports and humor and loves watching and quoting movies. Many also consider him the best bartender in New York City, but that’s up for debate.

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