Women already are about ten times more likely to have others treat them in a diminutive fashion. If you’re a petite woman, forget it — you’re well into a world of cheek pats and “isn’t-she-cutes.”

If you come across a woman with a particularly small frame, please do her a favor. Spare her from what she’s been forced to believe is her annoying destiny by avoiding any and all of the following comments:

1. Does your mother know you’re here, sweetheart?

No, her mother does not know of her specific whereabouts because she is over the age of 21. Thanks for checking up, though.

2. [Insert literally anything], little girl??

Not even 6-year-olds like being called “little girl,” let alone people who’ve been legally allowed to drink since the ’90s.

3. I can just stow you away in my suitcase on my honeymoon with my new wife … she’ll never even notice!

Hmm, at least being a petite woman has some practical implications! It’s so easy to cheat on your wife with them, because you can simply carry them wherever you go!

4. I’ll get the blue paint — you can be a Smurf for Halloween!

Good costume; wrong reason for suggesting it.

5. My American Girl Doll grew out of her party dress. you need something to wear to that Christmas Party, right?

First of all, why does your American Girl Doll grow? Second of all, her clothes are made for “people” who hardly move, so they probably won’t stand up to a holiday party’s worth of activity.

6. [Head pats … *shudder*]

This is perhaps the most demeaning thing anyone can do to anyone else. Whether a woman is petite or not, her blood with boil when you lay your palm on her head. Never do it.

7. That’s a big drink for such a little girl!

It’s not a big drink when she’s developed a hearty alcohol tolerance to put up with assholes who say things like this.

8. You look very … mature for your age.

(This usually just translates to: “You’re so small, but your boobs are so big!”)

9. [Skeptical look] … May I see your ID, miss?

This question is flattering to almost everyone but petite women; just so you know … unless she’s surpassed a certain age, like 40.

10. I could just eat you up!

Again, not even children like to hear this garbage.

11. Really?! I wouldn’t have put you at over fourteen!

Calling someone fourteen is never a compliment. Fourteen often marks the tail end of an awkward stage.

12. You’ve heard the term “spinner” before, right?

If you haven’t, look it up on Urban Dictionary or something. You’ll see why no woman wants to be called one.

13. We don’t need to buy you a ticket. You can just sit on my lap; save us all some money.

Why would you ever assume that your lap would be a comfortable place for someone to sit, let alone a comfortable way for you to maintain feeling in yours legs throughout whatever show/flight you’re seeing/taking?

14. Where did you learn about Nietzsche? I didn’t know they taught him in high school.

They taught philosophy in college, actually, where’s she’s received a degree so she could get her current space in grad school.

15. You look so good for your age!

Just cap it at: “You look so good.” There’s no need to qualify it with “for your age.”

16. What’s your secret for looking so young? Is it your diet?

No. It’s because she’s short. Relax.

17. Oh, whoops, let me just bring you the kids’ menu …

Why don’t you wait for the “parents” in the situation to ask for the kid, as per usual? Oh, wait, there isn’t anyone who looks like the “parents?” Then why did you ask this question in the first place?

18. You should probably wait outside of the liquor store while we pick this up.

She has an ID, I’m sure. If you’re that worried about your credibility in a liquor store, there’s another issue to address here.

19. At least it’s easy for you to fit on the subway during rush hour!

Don’t confuse this with a pleasant rush hour experience; it’s kind of worse when people don’t feel like they need to give you space.

20. You’re going to look young forever. You’re so lucky!

Think about how lucky it might feel to be told all of the above, and to look younger than all of your friends when you’re still 21 and younger.

21. Jailbait.

C’mon, unnecessary.

22. [To your significant other:] Is that your daughter?

Hopefully, no one will ever say this. But if you do, hope that neither of them are in a fighting mood.

23. You sure you don’t have a little [insert stereotypically short ethnicity here] in you?

Making assumptions about ethnicity will always go wrong. No exceptions.