You’ve heard the phrase, but is it truth or just a cliché? A lot of people are drawn to a certain type — someone who doesn’t seem like their type at all, but they have great relationships! Is it because they’ve found their opposite? Having something in common helps a relationship, but it isn’t enough to keep you together. Should you be with someone totally different than you?

1. Your opposite excites you.

It’s only natural to be drawn to someone who is different from you. Someone who has lived a different life is attractive because you don’t already know every little thing about them. Sure, it can be cute and safe to date the boy next door, but you know every time he scraped his knee and every class he took in high school. Someone who is your opposite is so drastically different, you can’t help but be intrigued.

2. Your opposite has qualities you aspire to have.

You might want to be more compassionate and quiet, so you’re drawn to the guy who speaks softly and thoughtfully, while you blurt out every thought that crosses your mind. Or maybe you want to be more confident and outgoing, and that’s exactly the type of person you’re drawn to. It’s not a coincidence: you naturally gravitate towards people who are what you’d like to be. If you get into a relationship with someone like this, over time the qualities you admire in them could rub off on you, and vice versa.

3. Your opposite complements you.

As mentioned above, loud people are often drawn to quieter people. Your opposite can not only influence you to change (for the better!), but complement you overall. A lot of people think they want someone who is like them, but can you imagine being in a relationship with someone just as outspoken or quiet as you are? It’s great to be with someone who fits in a way that can help make you the best, most complete person you can be.

4. Your opposite fights differently.

Face it: you’re in a relationship, you’re going to get into fights! But if two yellers are in a relationship, those fights can escalate and get heated very quickly. A yeller fighting against a rational thinker, however, is more likely to be calmed down by the other’s even temperament. This might help the relationship succeed because your fights won’t be as messy.

5. Your opposite likes being your opposite.

All of these positives about being attracted to someone who is the opposite of you only works if that person is tolerant of you and your lifestyle. There is such a thing as being too different, where all you do is disagree about how to spend your time. Sometimes religious differences can be too major to overcome. Yet, if both of you accept each others’ differences, then that problem might not trip you up. The secret is to enjoy the traits that your partner has and you don’t. Trying to change a person never works, so a relationship with your opposite will only work if both of you embrace and accept your differences.