Everyone “would be the perfect guy if…” This “if” indicates the large number of things men can do to unseal the deal for certain women — things that they often don’t even realize they’re doing. Sometimes they even know they’re doing these things, but they can’t imagine them having a negative impact on their dating/sex lives.

If you’re one of those guys, the following proclivities may serve to explain why you’re getting an eye roll or a handshake instead of a(nother) date:

1. Serial Clubbing

If the only way you know how to socialize is via bottle service in a room where you can’t hear and won’t have to talk to other people, there’s something to be concerned about.

2. Never Having Had A Relationship

If you’re over 25 and this is the case, women are going to question why. They may be wrong to do so — it may be circumstantial, you may just have not found the right one yet, etc. Unfortunately, it will still provoke a raised eyebrow or two.

3. Always Reaching Orgasm First…

… and falling asleep before even thinking about her turn. This one should be obvious, but many guys get so focused on their own pleasure that their brains narrow to the size of their dicks and it doesn’t even occur to them that there’s another pleasure-seeking person on the other end of their genitals.

4. Being Homophobic

If you make a derogatory comment about someone who identifies as LGBTQ, then you are simply an insecure, prejudiced asshole.

5. Failing To Understand The Clitoris

It’s not that tough of a concept. Just look at a diagram if you’re feeling lost (not in the moment, of course, but in time for the next moment). With the Internet as a resource, there’s no longer any excuse for failing to understand how to properly please a woman.

6. Refusing To Hang Out With Her Friends

She’ll take this as a personal offense, and you’ll look like you’re being inconsiderate if you don’t at least try to enjoy yourself with them.

7. Smelling Bad

Pheromones mean a lot when it comes to this emotion we call love. Bad odor will ward off mates.

8. Wanting Things In A Girlfriend You’d Never Want In A Wife

In other words, if you’re willing to accept qualities like experimental, wild and overtly sexy when it comes to a woman you’re casually dating but you’d sooner get divorced than see those characteristics in your wife, not only are you being hypocritical, but you’re also being extremely sexist… which most men have trouble understanding, for some reason beyond most women’s comprehension.

9. Watching “The Bachelor” Religiously

What this indicates about you is left to your girlfriend’s (or potential girlfriend’s) imagination to decide.

10. Watching Porn More Than Religiously

Being a porn addict is like being an anything addict in the way that it can negatively affect a relationship. It’s even worse in the way it can reflect on your sex life. The majority of porn doesn’t emphasize female pleasure (in fact, much of it does quite the opposite), and it can be hard to achieve stimulation with a partner if you’re used to getting off from very niche genre porn, like BDSM horse stuff.

11. Waking Her Up For Sex

Yes, sex is amazing. However, getting woken up prematurely from a deep, deep slumber is the worst thing that can happen to a person (short of all the actual bad things that can happen to people). This is a very insensitive move, and one that will put you in her bad book for good.

12. Militant Religious Beliefs

It’s OK to hold serious religious beliefs, but to impose them on someone else isn’t right. If you want to date someone with the same beliefs, fine, but don’t date someone who doesn’t share them and expect her to convert.

13.  Saying Rude Things About Exes

It’s one thing if you didn’t have an amicable parting of ways. It’s quite another to trash her every time the phrase “ex-girlfriend” comes up in conversation. Another girl hearing this will think a) you don’t respect women and b) you’re going to say some really horrible shit about her when things don’t last happily ever after.

14. Being Vocal About Disliking Your Mom

While women are unlikely looking for a mama’s boy, it’s a bad sign if you talk smack about your mama, nonetheless (unless there are extenuating circumstances and she really deserves it, like in Eminem’s case?).

15. Refusing To Pay For Anything

Are you hiding not having a job? It’s OK to go Dutch and let a woman treat you to meals, but constantly “leaving your card at home” and “not having any cash” will raise suspicion.

16. Failing To Ask Others’ Opinions

This is an insidious quality, because it’s hard to detect at the outset of meeting/spending time with someone new. However, she will eventually notice that you’ve never once said, “What do you think about this choice of restaurant, honey?” When she does, it will be the same time she either addresses it, or, smarter yet, moves onto to someone who actually gives a rat’s ass about what’s going on in other people’s minds.

17. Lying About Insignificant Things

It’s obvious that lying related to cheating will spell out doom for any relationship, but if in the beginning stages of getting to know someone you lie about, say, being a part of a softball team or going to a wedding one weekend, women are going to be just as thrown off (proportionally, of course). There’s no reason to pretend you’re throwing around a ball with a group of strangers every week if you’re not. What will you lie about next? Something that actually matters? Let alone the reason behind the initial lie, which is too potentially sinister to even deal with in this limiting format.