“Judging a book by its cover” doesn’t quite compare to judging a New York City woman by the neighborhood she inhabits… but it comes pretty close. In other words, it’s a highly fallible system, even though it’s tempting to use the following stereotypes (which, of course, sometimes do apply) to the next woman you meet in New York.

East Village

She graduated from NYU and she may or may not live in Stuytown. She’s probably spending time working a 9-to-5 she dislikes (that is keeping her busy until she applies for her graduate degree in… something creative or at least vaguely humanitarian). She has attended at least one peace/protest march in the city.

West Village

Her grandmother has a beyond decent apartment there that she inhabits (the woman, not the grandmother) as a free spirit, happy to drift in or out of your life in ways that are beautiful, daring and possibly harsh.

Murray Hill

She’s probably Jewish and likely works in PR or marketing. Equinox is her preferred gym, and lululemon is the brand of clothing she wears to it. She attended an all-girls summer camp in Maine.

Williamsburg

She’s a yuppie, but may very well identify as an “artist,” perhaps even a “jewelry maker.” She also attended a prestigious liberal arts college and moved to the city somewhat recently. Or she’s a young parent, but it will be very hard to tell whether or not this is the case.

Upper West Side

Columbia — enough said. Such a woman tends to be more serious, sharper and living the take-no-nonsense mode of living. She may also hold a certain fondness for Broadway and baking.

Upper East Side

Her parents have money, or she’s living farther northeast than one typically imagines when thinking of this famously wealthy neighborhood and is satisfied that she outdid her friends who foolishly moved to Brooklyn to find cheaper rent. Her preferred night out consists of a couple cocktails at a bar with wood paneling.

Bushwick

If she moved here somewhat recently, she’s almost definitely an artist/musician and is well-versed in philosophy and gender/sexuality studies. Be careful not to say anything too heteronormative around her — it may cause bristling.

SoHo

She’s fashionable (perhaps a little too fashionable, if you catch my drift) and you’ll either have to do a lot to impress or you’ll just have to be present, because her parents never were.

Financial District

She probably cares a lot about her career, and she acts as professional as she looks.

Lower East Side/Alphabet City

Party central — she loves to drink, dance and make friends with bouncers she never remembers the next day. If you’re looking for someone who you can party with like you’re both still in college, this is your girl.

Brooklyn Heights

She probably attended a hippy private school during her Brooklyn youth. Growing up in the city made her kind of hard, but the education made her too focused on world change to have become a total cynic.